Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Back

I just got back from the mall.  I'm trying to think of a new screenname.  So, I might not be on much today.  Hopefully, I will, though.

Hello?

I was trying to think of a new account.

Here's my post for today so far...

Dream

So, I was laying in bed, waiting to feel better to make a new blog.

When I went to Perkins, my dad threw in on my an idea of putting the waitress's lady in my stomach.  It didn't feel good.  I think she like exploded.

So, I lay down, and for the first time, my uterus started pumping.  I think it's because of Ellen DeGeneres.

I fell asleep, finally.  I thought someone was really there, invisible, hoping they would be real behind me, like air, putting their hand on my female part and holding me up and stuff I don't remember specifically for a long time.  It was someone with a lean, thick arm.

So, then, this person was like babysitting me, this arm, carrying me around this house.  It reminded me of my dad's youngest sister most, where her daughter stayed.  This happened for a long time, for some reason.

So, I finally went out.  I went through windows and stuff.  This person was carrying me.  I just hoped the person was real.  It was a dark, thick person, kinda like me, so I dunno...

Well, let's see, things happened, obviously, scenery.

So, finally, at this party, I was able to imagine someone, this person, carrying me.  When I was sleeping, I imagined this boy was a teddy bear.  So, I tagged Helena Bonham Carter, to be safe.  Not really.  So, then, this person finally was carrying me like I was still a kid on the front and then the side.  I guess I sorta flashed through it all.  It was kinda nice.  I know it's from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  Anyway, so, in the dream, I felt kinda stimulated about things from my life since I was about 17 or maybe stemming from when I was 16 and 15 and 14.  I dunno, I wish I remembered the feelings.  I was thinking before that I was more the epitome of what my dad should have been as his kid and not who he was like.  So, it was really long.  I know I was in this house, like being babysat.

Anyway, I woke up and I imagined a little head under my head, and that was just like my mom when I say bye casually|hardly.  I also imagined I was holding onto like a rope, a male part.

So, then, there was a time I left with some people who were making fun of the person holding me, and I trotted along the road, very feminine, like Nell Burton.

I just wish I could say in words what was going in with me the whole time in the 2nd half when this person was generously carrying what was now me.

I was like having a conversation, this person I was puppetting to me, for some reason.  You know, about how I thought.

I guess, the person was like murmering to me about how I wanted to feel.  Ugh!  I just forgot what else I was gonna write.  So, yea, thoughts from real life went through my head that made me uncomfortable.  I can't really justify my existence.  It was like said person had responsibility to carry me, but it got old when I thought of when I wasn't online.  My first picture, Juily ... 4th!

It was funny.  Supposedly, I needed this, kinda nice, but feeling mocked.  I don't really know who it was, in a way, for the bulk.  Who would really do this?

It was funny, though, finally a dream that wasn't just annoying.  It was like about my needs.

It was funny, the idea that the person had to put their arms around me like that.  I guess it's because I was thinking about it.  I felt like a little kid, like a baby, being taken care of in a nursery.

It was really long, and it happened like 100 times.  I was constantly being held.

It was really dark and stuff, sorta an underworld.

You know, I get mad when I do something and someone doesn't tell me while I still have a chance to change it.

Anyway, worthless dream!  Literally.  Enjoyable, still.  So, not worthless, in another way.  It seemed bound to occur but not really.

So, it was nice, but I don't get why it happened.  It made me feel old.

Okay, so, now I remember, I had to or decided to make my eyes swirl in my head and the person was behind me still.

I can't really remember some other thing now that happened.

Something else upset me as I was looking up Jackie Evancho videos.